Emotional Attacks
Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When
someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally.
We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us. It’s important
to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect
their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves.
When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash
out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better.
You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it
is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you.
This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their beha! vior isn’t as much about you
as it is about their need to vent their emotions.
If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone’s behavior,
take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you aren’t responsible
for people’s feelings.
If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to
you—whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard—you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting
them to talk about what is really bothering them.
You cannot control other people’s emotions, but you can control
your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and
they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness.
source: DailyOM
