If you’ve ever found yourself repressing your anger and behaving in other ways to get your point across, you may be someone who is adept at engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. Although passive-aggressive behavior is recognized as a psychological disorder, it also describes the behavior that many people use to cope with confrontational situations. Such behavior has the outward appearance of being peaceful, yet it is really an attempt to express oneself in seemingly passive ways—usually without accepting responsibility for doing so. For example, someone who doesn’t want to attend an event with a partner might engage in behavior that causes them to be late or miss the event without ever admitting to their partner that they never wanted to go to the function at all. Procrastination, inefficiency, stubbornness, and sullenness are some of the many ways that anger can be expressed indirectly.

It is important not to judge ourselves when we engage in passive-aggressive behavior. You may want to consider that you are not owning your feelings or your expression by indirectly expressing yourself. Perhaps you are judging your feelings and needs as wrong—which is why you are expressing yourself indirectly. You also may be worried that others will judge you for feeling the way that you do. Remember that anger and every other emotion are never good or bad. They can, however, become toxic of you don’t express them in healthy and proactive ways. When we express ourselves directly, we are more likely to be heard by the other person. It also becomes easier for us to ask for and get what we want.

Once we learn to be honest with ourselves about our feelings, we can begin to directly express ourselves to others. By learning to express ourselves directly, we prevent misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and resentment from cropping up in our relationships. We also learn to communicate with others in healthy and productive ways. It is never too late to start working on ourselves and our behaviors, just take it one day at a time.

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 6:35 AM EDT

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Many of us do not understand what personal power means. We have been given the false notion that power is bad—that it is something we use to exert our will upon others. In fact, when our personal power is intact, we are neither overbearing nor meek. We have a clear sense of our strength and the impact we can have on others. This actually enables us to be more sensitive. Personal power is what permits us to work on behalf of our dreams and desires. It allows us to realize that we are worthy and deserve to be heard. In addition, our personal power lets us extend the respect we know that we deserve to the people around us. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed of fully owning your power.

In the chakra system, the solar plexus is the seat of personal power. One way to evaluate your sense of power is to breathe into this part of the body. If it feels tight or nervous, it is an indication that you may not be fully expressing your power. You can heal this imbalance by expanding the area of the solar plexus with your breath. You can also visualize a bright yellow sun in this part of your body. Allow its heat to melt any tension, and let its light dissolve any darkness or heaviness. Repeating this exercise on a regular basis can restore and rejuvenate your sense of power.

Another way to nurture your personal power is to honor your dreams and desires by making concrete plans to manifest them in the world. Start by making a list of things you want, and let yourself think big. Choose one goal from the list and commit to bringing it to fruition. In addition, break the goal into tasks that you can work on each day. Know that you deserve to have your dreams come true and that you have the power to bring them into being.

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 6:25 AM EDT

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Jealousy is one of the toughest feelings we come up against in our lives. There is not much worse than this aching sense that somehow life has been unfair to us, while amply rewarding someone else. It’s even worse if that someone else is present in our daily lives, making it difficult for us to get the space we need to feel and heal our pain. We may be jealous of a sibling, a dear friend, or even famous personalities. We may even face the challenge of feeling jealous of our spouse, our child, or one of our parents. Whatever the case, we can normalize our experience by understanding that, as painful as it is, jealousy is a common human feeling.

Nevertheless, it is important that we not revel in our jealousy for too long, feeding it with inner talk or gossip with others. If we do, we run the risk of losing ourselves to its negative power. Jealousy has something good to offer us, though, and that is information about our own heart’s desire. When we are jealous of certain people, we want what they have, and if we are to be conscious, we must acknowledge that. In this way, we discover what we want for ourselves, which is the first step to getting it. It may be a certain kind of relationship or a career. Whatever it is, it is possible that we could create it for ourselves, in our own lives, if we are able to honor our own desires.

Of course, there are times when we cannot heal our jealousy in this way, and then the lesson may be about acceptance and the understanding that our path is different from the paths of those around us. It may be hard to see now, but perhaps it will eventually be clear why our life has taken its particular path. In the end, the best cure for jealousy is the recognition that the life we have is full of its own meaning and beauty, utterly unique to us—a gift that could never be found in the life of another.

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 5:22 AM EST

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Because life requires that we interact with different personalities, it is not uncommon for us to encounter a situation where there is one person whose behavior may negatively impact the experiences of others. Someone who is loud and crass can interrupt the serenity of those who come together to practice peace. A disruptive worker can cause rules to be imposed that affect their colleagues’ professional lives. A team member who is pessimistic or highly critical may destroy the morale of their fellow members. And one “bad apple” in your personal life can be a potent distraction that makes it difficult to focus on the blessings you’ve been given and the people who love you.

There may always be people in your life who take it upon themselves to create disruption, foster chaos, stamp out hope, and act as if they are above reproach – even when, in doing so, they put a blight on their own experiences. But you don’t need to allow their negativity and callousness to sour your good mood. Often, our first impulse upon coming head-to-head with a bad apple is to express our anger and frustration in no uncertain terms. However, bad apples only have the power to turn our lives sour if we let them.

If you can exercise patience and choose not to respond to their words or actions, you will significantly limit the effect they are able to have on you and your environment. You can also attempt to encourage a bad apple to change their behavior by letting your good behavior stand as an example. If your bad apple is simply hoping to attract notice, they may come to realize that receiving positive attention is much more satisfying than making a negative impression. While you may be tempted to simply disassociate yourself entirely from a bad apple, consider why they might be inclined to cause disturbances. Understanding their motivation can help you see that bad apples are not necessarily bad people. Though bad apples are a fact of life, minimizing the impact you allow them to have upon you is empowering because you are not letting anyone else affect the quality of your experiences. You may discover that buried at the very heart of a bad apple is a seed of goodness.

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 6:52 AM EST

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The circle is acknowledged as an archetype of wholeness and integration, with the center of a circle universally understood to symbolize Spirit - the Source. When a group of people come together in a circle, they are united. This unity becomes even more powerful when each person reaches out to touch a neighbor and clasps hands. This physical connection unites thought and action, mind and body, and spirit and form in a circle. Because a circle has no beginning and no end, the agreement to connect in a circle allows energy to circulate from one person to the next, rather than being dissipated into the environment.

Like a candle used to light another candle, the connection with spirit that results when one person joins hands with another is greater than if each person were to stand alone. People who take part in a circle find that their power increases exponentially while with the group. Like a drop of water rippling on the surface of a pond, the waves of energy produced in a circle radiate outward in circular motion. While one person may act like a single beacon that emanates light, a circle of people is like a satellite dish that sends out energy. There is power in numbers, and when the commitment is made by many to face one another, clasp hands, and focus on one intention, their circle emanates ripples of energy that can change the world.

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 6:23 AM EST

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The universe can often relay messages to us through signs. Often, we are too busy to stop and consider what may or may not be a sign. We may ask the universe for guidance, yet fail to recognize the sign it sends us in response. Learning the subtle language of signs can help you interpret the guidance the universe sends your way. We all have been blessed with a connection that allows the universe to communicate directly with us. To be able to understand the information relayed over that connection, however, it is necessary that we learn to pay attention and know what to look for.

To see and correctly interpret a sign, you must open your heart and mind to the universe and invite its guidance into your life. Many of us are blind to the signs we receive because we expect angels or our spirit guides to speak to us in a booming voice and tell us exactly what we need to hear. But signs are usually of this earth and therefore easier to encounter. A song lodged in your mind or a number that seems to pop up everywhere you look after you’ve asked the universe for guidance can both be signs. Signs may come through the animal world, from strangers, or jump out of a book in the form of an insightful passage. A sign may be a direct answer to one of your questions. Other signs may point you in the right direction, warn of impending difficulties, or show you a different way. If you want the universe to send you a sign, tell it that you are ready and willing to accept its guidance.

Not everything you hear or see will be a sign. If you are receptive and patient, however, the signs you receive will become easier to recognize. It is important to listen to your intuition. A sign can mean many things to different people, and only you can decipher a sign’s meaning is for you. As you practice reading the signs and following their guidance, the universe will send more of them your way.

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 6:16 AM EST

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Mother Theresa is an outstanding role model for fulfilling the destiny of one's Sun sign. She was born in Macedonia on August 26, 1910, under the sign of Virgo, which rules service. As a Roman Catholic nun and missionary, she dedicated her life to helping the poor, the sick, the hungry, "all those people," she said, "who feel unwanted, unloved, uncared for throughout society, people that have become a burden to the society and are shunned by everyone."

At age 12 she knew she would enter religious life as a missionary. Before her death in 1997, she was operating 610 missions in 123 countries. In 1979, she was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her work. However, not everything in Mother Theresa's chart points to a natural inclination for sacrifice.

Poverty
On the one hand, the Sun-Mars-Mercury trio in Virgo gave her the will and humility to serve. It prompted her to leave the convent and live among the destitute in India. During her first year as a missionary, before she received permission from the Vatican to start a congregation, she resorted to begging for food and supplies because she had no income. She experienced firsthand the suffering caused by poverty.

Conflicted
On the other hand, such a life was completely at odds with her Moon in Taurus. Above all other Moon placements, Taurus craves physical and emotional comfort. Familiar surroundings are usually a necessity. As she reported in her diary, the initial difficulties and loneliness of her work made her long for the comfort of her former order. She saw this longing as a temptation. In an intriguing twist of fate, and helping to squelch this temptation, she also had Saturn in Taurus. Saturn is the planet of duty, karma and deprivation. It gave her the discipline to forgo creature comforts and material belongings so she could get on with her faith-based work. It also gave her a head for handling money, a valuable talent when heading a large network of charity organizations.

Lion heart
Another contradiction in her chart was her Venus in Leo, which would normally crave not only comfort, but luxury. And romance, no less - somewhat inconvenient for a nun. But here comes Saturn again - it forms a close square to Venus, which erected a karmic barrier against personal love and materialism. Such a challenging influence (for the rest of us, at least!) only helped to strengthen her purpose.

Earth mother
Mainly, the powerful Earth element in her chart, as indicated by Virgo and Taurus, says that Mother Theresa was not only a religious woman, but a deeply practical one, with a core of steel. She could also be incredibly stubborn and, some would say, short-sighted because of her traditional and religious views. Still, she had the unique ability to combine faith with practicality to help the needy. And there was a physical component to her work that was indeed "earthy." She didn't sit in the ivory tower of a convent and make decisions about the poor. Instead, she got her hands dirty, so to speak, and lived among the poor to ease their suffering.

The diplomat
During the Siege of Beirut in 1982, Mother Theresa joined the Red Cross in evacuating dozens of children from a war-zone hospital. To do this, she first had to negotiate a ceasefire between the Israeli army and the PLO. The diminutive nun's Earth-power was obviously at work, as was her Jupiter in Libra. Jupiter rules faith and fortune, while Libra rules relationships, fairness and cooperation. It's the ultimate mediator and a valuable asset if you find yourself at the center of a battle.

What began as a small congregation became the Missionaries of Charity, which grew into a worldwide organization that includes hospices, soup kitchens, counseling programs, orphanages and schools. All started by a nun with a "Virgo" mission, who clearly fulfilled her destiny.

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 8:39 AM EST

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What you can do about it

Are you feeling cheerful, melancholy or irritable? How about the person sitting next to you? If they feel the same way, there's a good chance you may have caught their mood. Studies have emerged that indicate moods actually are contagious (just like the common cold) - and the worse the mood, the more contagious it is!

But there's a bright side. Take laughter, for instance. When you're in the presence of laughter, it's almost impossible to keep from cracking a smile and laughing right along. An awareness of moods and their power can help you understand and even shift the dynamics of a tense or unproductive situation - at work and home, and with friends, family, partners and even perfect strangers. First, however, we have to understand how moods are transmitted.

Monkey see, monkey do!
When it comes to social interaction, it's monkey see, monkey do. Human beings are hard-wired for mimicry. Studies have shown that when people view images of happy and sad faces, they unconsciously mimic those expressions. We mimic not only facial expressions, but also gestures, movement and tone of voice. This mimicry is subtle and unconscious. Even if it isn't externally apparent, our body is responding on a neurological level, helping to create the mood of the person we're trying to understand and relate to.

Case in point
It seems like a normal day at work, but Jack notices he's feeling irritable. Examining why, he traces his irritability back to his boss Laura, who was short with him that morning. Now that he realizes her irritation was transmitted to him, he's able to work on changing his mood, and he also makes the decision to engage Laura with only the most important matters that day. By being conscious of how the mood created a negative dynamic, Jack was able to make a sound decision about how to best interact with Laura and shift his own mood.

Laura, on the other hand,  arrived at work ready to put together an important report for a meeting that afternoon, only to find her computer was infected with a virus. This put her in an irritable mood and as a result she snapped at several co-workers. She spent half the day trying to get her computer back in action. Just before her afternoon meeting, she realized her mood was doing nothing for her or her team members. By acknowledging her mood (and taking some calm, deep breaths) Laura was able to run a successful meeting - and she didn't bring her bad mood back home to her spouse and children.

Transmitters and receivers
We are all transmitters and receivers of other people's moods, but some of us are more one than the other. The more outgoing and expressive you are, the more likely you are to transmit your mood to others. Conversely, people who are sensitive observers are generally more affected by the moods of others. Knowing where your susceptibilities lie will help you manage moods more effectively.

Blessing or curse?
Mood interplay can be insidious, but it can also be a boon. Think about how many times someone else's good mood made a difference for you and you'll realize we really can't live without each other's moodiness!

Although it's not always possible to control our moods and emotions, being conscious of them can help protect us from our own moods (and from those of others), and potentially improve the dynamics of our lives.

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 7:29 AM EST

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WHEN WE LOOK AT HAVING SUPPORTIVE, LOVING RELATIONSHIPS,
WHY NOT START WITH OURSELF?

    Relationships are how we relate to others. We have a relationship with everyone that we know and who are close to us. This is not reserved for our family or someone that we are involved with. Every interaction we have with another is the act of relating. If we have a problem relating to others, this effects our ability to have supportive relationships.

We have to ask ourselves if our relationships are supportive and if they are not, then ask ourselves why they are not. Everyone wants the perfect romance or marriage, but not everyone looks at the mechanics of how to have one. If we fail to have supportive relationships in our life, how can we have the "perfect love relationship"? 

Lets look at what is a supportive relationship.

The word support is very important. It means that our interaction supports another. This means more than supporting another in their decisions or actions, rather through the act of supporting, we honor and validate who the other person is. In turn, this validates who we are. Both are supported, no one loses, no ego's involved, and in so doing, we honor the relationship. This is what it means to have a supportive relationship. This is the desired goal.

Now, how do we accomplish it? 

There are several reasons why we may have problems relating to others. One primary reason is our behavioral patterns. These patterns are developed over a course of our lives.

It starts when we are children, through to our adolescence, and by the time we are an adult, we have established our behavioral patterns for our relationships.

These behavioral patterns either work or they don't. It is how we interact or respond in our relationships that determine whether these patterns work. In addition, we can have both positive and negative behavioral patterns.

Which is reflected in our life? The positive or the negative? 

What causes negative behavioral patterns?

If we look at a person's life, we can readily see which is negative or positive behavior. But we may not easily see the cause of the negative. The cause usually resides in the past in which a trauma or an event occurred that effects how we behave in the future.

If that event occurs again, or if something happens currently to cause us to experience that trauma again, that is when we respond to it. Situations can act as triggers, which may cause us to react to the person that is involved in the situation.  This causes a negative behavioral pattern.  Until we can identify the problem, we are powerless to do anything about it. 

Whatever the situation was to trigger a reactionary response, the cause must be discovered in order to heal the original fracture. (Or stop the behavioral pattern.)

In Shamanism terms this is called a Soul Fracture. A fracture of the Self. Each self is part of the whole which comprises the soul. 

Soul Fractures occur for a variety of reasons and may or may not relate to this current lifetime. Trauma's have occurred in past lifetimes that may or may not have been addressed. The Soul holds the body of these life experiences.

  Furthermore,  the life process itself can be very painful for some. Past experiences that have dishonored, or invalidated who we are, cause us to close ourself off even more. These experiences build up over a matter of time and unless a clearing occurs, emotional or physical problems may develop.

We can go through life accruing more and more "garbage".  And we can bring this into our relationships.  These are just a few reasons why we can have problems in our relationships. Using this context , we can see the long road to having supportive and loving relationships. 

If a problem has been identified, what can we do about it?

One can try to clear it themselves, or one can go to a Practitioner who is adept at doing clearings. Either avenue can work. If someone is able to clear it themselves, it is more beneficial for them in how they will address  problems in the future.

This is a long process and one that is very involved. 

In order to clear, one must identify the original cause that created a behavioral pattern. Then, move through the experience of that situation, and experience the emotions that we have associated with it. Then, we must have closure or completion. (This is the doing part of it. We must do something about it.) This means completing it anyway that we are able. As long as, we feel that we have a sense of completion for the experience.

For example, if the experience has to do with a person or a loved one that has died, we may not have the ability to directly talk to this person.   But we can still communicate whatever is necessary to say to that person.  In this case, the communication will have to be enough.  

So, after we have identified the cause, moved through the experience, experienced the emotions associated with it,  received closure or completion, then we let it go.

We must let it go in order for the experience to clear.   When we let it go, we release it. This does not mean to forgive or forget, that is not what it is to release. The act of releasing is our readiness to heal. Only after the experience has cleared can healing occur.  

The healing process is a time when we must be very loving to ourself.  If we beat up ourself about the experience that had caused us harm or our past reaction to it, then we can not heal. In being loving to ourself, we validate what we experienced at that time and our emotions for it. Our emotions are always valid. So its important for us to do this self validation in order to heal. 

Love is the energy that helps us to heal, whether we give this love to ourselves, or we receive it from another.   When we look at having supportive, loving relationships in our life, why not start with ourself? Because that is where love comes from. Its not about what we can receive from love but what we can contribute or give to love.

This is what transforms our relationships and our lives. We must love the self first. And we can not do that until we have healed and become whole.

It must begin with you and then it will radiate out to others.  Loving yourself opens the door to loving others in a happy, healthy way and being able to accept their love in return.

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 8:07 AM EST

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When we think about something, we are contemplating. Contemplating what to do next, what would be best, what course to follow.

Contemplation is a most useful skill to develop--as we usually make the wisest choices from forethought.

Before I go to sleep each night, I spend some time reviewing what happened that day, and how I wish to proceed on the issues for the next day. Contemplation is a way to mentally houseclean the day's activities--and prepares the space in thought, for tomorrow's unseen situations.

We can also contemplate on qualities we wish to develop in ourselves. By assessing the pros and cons about a quality, we can determine if it will uplift our lives through making us a better person, Because, as we grow in consciousness, we become more conscious of the greater plan for our life in the world. We attain a more universal overview of life.

Contemplation serves as a clearing house in our mind. We bring out a situation for review, process it, and then pass it on into usefulness or discard it as unusable for us. Or maybe send it back into our memory storage to be brought forward at another time.

Contemplation also buys us time to think over and digest new ideas that may come from outside sources--other people or the media.

Contemplation gives us the time to allow a good solution to come to mind. If we are in a hurry or pressured to make a decision quickly, we might not instantly come up with the most useful answer. But if we instead say--I'll think that over and let you know later--tomorrow or next week or whatever future date we choose, then our mind will have time to digest, mull over the situation, and come up with the most workable solution.

As we contemplate we can take notes on ideas that come to mind. Writing down my ideas while contemplating helps me evaluate the best course to follow. I look over my notes and decide the pros and cons of each idea before making an important decision.

As we progress in upgrading our consciousness through sticking to the virtues and truths we have decided to follow, we will more quickly be able to make the best decision when called upon to decide spontaneously.

As we upgrade our consciousness

our conscious decisions become more spontaneously

for the best

Time spent in contemplation

uses our mind optimally

Stirs our thoughts and sifts out the dross

Leaving just the right answer for us

each time

Posted by Susan@Healing Journeys at 7:17 AM EST

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